One Year Ago...

A year ago tonight my heart was breaking. A year ago I was trying to make sense of something I couldn't believe was happening. A year ago I miscarried our precious baby. I was just 6 weeks along...but the baby was already ours, already loved. A year ago I traveled back and forth to many doctor appointments over the course of a week. EVERY time I was in the car one song would be playing on the radio... I Will Not Be Moved, by Natalie Grant. I had loved this song for a long time...but it took on a whole new meaning a year ago.

I have been a wayward child,
I have acted out,
I have questioned sovereignty,
and had my share of doubts,
And though sometimes,
my prayers feel like their bouncing off the sky,
the hand that holds won't let me go,
and is the reason why
I will stumble, I will fall down
But I will not be moved
I will make mistakes, I will face heartache,
But I will not be moved
On Christ the solid rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand,
I will not be moved
Bitterness has plagued my heart, many times before,
My life has been a broken glass, and I have kept the score,
of all my shattered dreams, and though it seemed,
that I was far too gone, my brokenness helped me to see,
it's grace I'm standing on.
I will stumble, I will fall down
But I will not be moved
I will make mistakes, I will face heartache,
But I will not be moved
On Christ the solid rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand,
I will not be moved
And chaos in my life,
has been a badge I've worn,
and though I have been torn,
I will not be moved
I will make mistakes, I will face heartache,
But I will not be moved
On Christ the solid rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand,
I will not be moved

I can't tell you the number of tears I shed and the conversations I had with God during those car rides...but God was and has been so faithful to me. He brought me through one of the deepest valleys I have ever been in. And now as I sit here I know how blessed I truely am. I know the hurt and heartache of losing a little one. I also know the joy and blessing of another little one. Ruthie will be 2 months old tomorrow. Wow... God is good.

Kindergarten...Ready or Not....

....Here he comes!

Isaac's first day of Kindergarten was actually a half day. We started out with a chocolate chip pancake breakfast, with school bus "sprinkles" for decoration.

Then, Isaac wanted pictures to take with him so he could look at them if he was missing us. So, we had a little photo shoot...

For lunch I made school bus shaped sandwiches...

...which were a big hit :)

We gave them an early lunch and they ate it so quick. They went out to wait for the bus before noon.

We waited and waited...mostly very patiently. Isaac asked Francis what time it was about every 5 minutes. He was just so excited!

Finally just before 1pm we saw the bus heading up the street. This was the start of Gracie's realization that her brother was really going.

The bus is here...

No fear at all about getting on and heading off without us...

Poor Gracie... she wasn't sad that she couldn't go with him, in the sense that he was doing something she couldn't. Her heart was broken because her best buddy was leaving and he wouldn't be around as much anymore.

I was doing pretty good until she started sobbing and saying how much she was going to miss him. Then I shed a few tears of my own...

We came inside and the girls watched Backyardigans together...

And then Grace and I worked together to make crayon cookies for Isaac when he got home.

Grace and I went to pick Isaac up at school at the end of the day. He was the line leader. :)

Here he is in the room waiting for us to come and get him.

Leaving the school...Gracie has her buddy back.

Enjoying our cookies after a great 1st day!

The first day wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I struggled through the next few days. It's getting easier..though there are times I just want my buddy home with me. I'll definately be looking forward to all of his breaks and getting to have extra time with him! :)

Kindergarten Eve

This Boy..........

I can't believe this boy...my baby boy is starting Kindergarten tomorrow. In just over 12 hours I will walk him to the road..put him on a bus..and watch him ride away to a place he's been and a teacher he's met just once. I feel like I am giving him to a complete stranger. I knew this was going to be hard... I just never knew how hard it would be. Tomorrow he will only be gone a couple of hours as they only go in the afternoon...but those hours will be long. He's my little buddy and not having him here with me during the day is going to be a big change.

This Boy.......

He loves his little sisters and they love him. He is Grace's best friend and favorite playmate. Grace has been going around saying how much she is going to miss him when he is in school. Isaac keeps wanting to make sure someone will play with her when he is gone. He is making sure she knows that he will get her up from her nap when he gets home from school. He is always watching out for her...always taking care of her...always being her friend.

This Boy.......

Fell in love with another girl in July. He has a new sister to take care of...a new sister that adores him already...a new sister that saves her biggest and best smiles for him. He loves to hold her and give her kisses. If he can't see her in her usual places he is quick to ask where she is and makes sure she is okay. He was so proud of himself the day she snuggled in and fell asleep on him. She maybe little...but she will be missing her big brother just like the rest of us.

This Boy.........

ventures off tomorrow on a grand adventure and he can't wait. He is excited and ready to go. Now I just have to let him go..............

One Month Old

Ruth is one month old now. So much has happened since I last blogged..so much I want to share..but I just haven't found the time. Now with MOPS starting in just a few weeks, I'm trying to figure out where to fit that into my life. I'm so tired. Ruth does sleep pretty well at night..once we get her to sleep..which isn't usually until 11:30 or 12midnight. Then she wakes up twice to nurse and gets up in the morning about 8:30. The last 2 nights the other 2 have taken turns waking up too. It just makes for long nights and even longer days. We had a busy week last week going to the fair, doctors appointments, and swimming. This week is looking a little quieter..which is good since it is so hot and I don't like being outside when it is this warm. I'm thankful for our air conditioner which makes our house tollerable! :)

She's Here!!!

Ruth Leah was welcomed into our family last week! She weighed 8lbs 10 1/2oz and is 20inches long. Isaac and Grace can't get enough of her. We are slowly adjusting to being a family of 5 and to life with a newborn again! After all we went through last September, we are just so thankful to have our healthy baby girl here with us! :)

Still Here...

Wow.. I can't believe it has been over a month since I blogged! So much has happened these last few weeks that I want to blog about... but we've been so busy doing them that I haven't had the time to sit and blog! It doesn't help that I've been nesting and trying to get the house ready to welcome our new little one. We had to switch Francis' office in to our bedroom, move Grace to Francis' office, and then set up the nursery in Grace's old room. I think finally these last few days we have all 3 rooms the way we want them for now. We've also been on vacation the last 2 weeks. We stayed home this time for various reason (finances, too late in pregnancy to travel, etc).. but have managed to have an incredibly fun and relaxing time. Besides finding a lot of fun things to do in the area (all of which I plan to blog about soon!)... we were also able to spend most of the afternoon doing the things around the house that needed to get worked on while Grace took her nap. It really has worked out wonderfully this time (last year Francis ended up having to do a funeral during his vacation). So... that is the very shortened version of where I've been, what I've been doing. I will try and get a few more exciting posts with pictures very soon! :)

My 1st Nephew!!

I'm an aunt again and so excited!!! Elijah Payton was born this morning. He is 7lbs 9oz and 21 inches long. He looks just like his big sister! I can't wait to see him in person! Congrats to Nah, Nate, and Hannah!!! :)